| 5:59a |
Tired.
I'm tired of waiting; tired of playing it safe, and most of all, I'm tired of being the person I'm expected to be.
Fuck that.
Fuck what's "appropriate".
Fuck what's "practical".
Fuck what's "safe".
Above all,
Fuck what's "normal".
Income taxes, divorce, and death are the normalcy of this day and age, and those things all suck. Happiness, Love, and acceptance are rare things indeed. Apparently, normalcy leaves much to be desired. Since normalcy sucks so bad, I think I'll forsake it.
This body is mine. (all of it)
This time is mine. (all of it)
In other words, this life is mine. (all of it)
I'm not waiting any longer. There is only one course of action that makes any sense to me, and this is it:
I will make my heaven in this world, even should that making burn all my years, and leave me only moments; I will make my heaven in this world.
Perhaps I'm a fool.
Perhaps I'll fail.
Perhaps I'll make a fool of myself in so failing.
Perhaps I don't give a fuck.
Someday, I will die. I accept that, and all the mysteries therein concealed.
But on the day I die, I'll be damned if I look back on my life and recall what might have been if I'd only had the courage of my convictions. There's a reason they say cowards die a thousand deaths. - It's because they fucking deserve to.
I am fully aware that I could be wrong, that I might fail, that I might "bite off more than I can chew", and so not overcome all that stands in my way and make my heaven here. But I know this: If I should fall; if I should prove unworthy of all that which I desire, it will not be because I held back. It will not be because I gave up. It will not be because I yielded to pain.
Nothing can stop me. Only that. And since I don't see it here, I think it's time to kick this pig. |